Scarecrow Face

This evening I'm wearing the Scarecrow Face.
[It's been a long day.]

[Dot Dot Dot]

Ellipsis points--
Nobody knows what's missing
Except the one who typed them:
The dot, the dot, the dot.
Or maybe they don't know, either.

But someone said something,
There was SOMETHING there
That got omitted because
It's not supposed to be important
In the Grand Scheme of Things.

But I'm not sure I believe that...

There's something in them, isn't there?
Something even in the way one dot
Follows another, and then another.
There's some kind of Morse Code
No one can seem to figure out.

Something's missing in them,
Someone said that something
Wasn't worth telling, It wasn't
Something of Importance:
But I'd like to be the judge of that.

I don't trust just anybody...

I'd like to know a lot more
About where I am right now
And where it is I'm heading;
But all I seem to get when I ask
Is another Dot Dot Dot or Silence.

And THAT's fun--Silence--
Because then you can't even imagine
The sound of the keystrokes:
It's just Nothing and Nothing and Nothing
[And you think you're abandoned completely]:

[Dot Dot Dot].

Better than You Think It Is

"Success doesn't feel like you think it will," said Bishop Jakes in one of his messages on Living your Purpose.

He says we seldom know when we are in the middle of our own harvest.

"Your life is better than you think it is. Your ministry is better than you think it is. Your marriage is better than you think it is. Your man is better than you think he is. Your kids are better than you think they are....

"But you only know how good things are in retrospect. You only know when you can look back and say, 'Gosh, that's a great kid.'"

Prayer this a.m.: Lord, help me to realize that my best days are NOW. Help me to understand that the Harvest is NOW and that I can't wait because there's no better time than today! Help me to be a better Mom, Employee, Teacher, Follower of Christ, Discipler, Wife, Servant. Help me to rightly divide the Word of Truth and to not get caught up in Religious Thinking that wastes time, energy, and opportunity. I know you're working on me, Lord. Help me to be patient, to realize the process, to understand that I need to be working the Harvest NOW.

Your Best Days Are Now

I was watching a year old sermon by Bishop Jakes yesterday that I had seen over a year ago, in person, at The Potter's House in Dallas, Texas.

It was kind of surreal, listening to a sermon I'd heard before, remembering specific lines from the message, remembering, even, how we felt in when we heard it the first time.

I even caught glimpses of me, Stephen, and Psalm in the audience as the camera swept past us.

But what stood out to me, and what I've awoken early this a.m. being reminded of, was the phrase: "Your best days are NOW."

Bishop Jakes was talking about our PURPOSE and how the harvest is white, but sometimes we can't see how ripe it is when we're standing in it.

"Why did Jesus have to tell them the harvest is ripe?" asked Bishop Jakes. "If they could tell that, he wouldn't have had to state the obvious. It's because they couldn't see it themselves."

He told us that we look and feel better now than we ever will. That we think, "I'll wait until THIS and THIS happen before I jump in..." But the time is now!"

Messages like this make me worry sometimes, because I know that time is swiftly flying by. I try not to think too often about how old I am this year, think about what may lie ahead, and whether I choose to think about it or not--my time is limited.

My BEST days are now. Now. And I need to stop giving excuses and just LIVE them to the best of my ability in Christ. Today, this day. With all my heart.

The Stage: In Retrospect

I miss that part of my life sometimes:
The Stage.

I miss those first audition jitters,
Familiarizing self with script;
I miss the turmoil, book to off book,
The repeating of lines and scenes
Until, finally, the curtain rises.

Nervous pacing backstage,
Waiting for the Cue to be delivered;
Racing heart, Wringing hands,
Rehearsing first words and steps,
And then, one step in front of the other.

I miss the pressure, the intensity,
The costumes, the bonding,
The sharing of moments by
A Select Few, For a Select Time:
And, of course, I miss the Crowds.

Laughter, tears, applause,
Wiped eyes, Kleenexes strewn
Across chairs and carpet--
Proof that Something Special
Happened in this place.

Some days, I sorely miss that time in my life,
When youth and passion were inextricably
Linked to character and cause;
When nothing else mattered but being TRUE
To self and script and scribe--

And that cold dark floor where stories breathe:
The Stage.