"Place in this World"

My devotion for tonight reminded me of this song by Michael W. Smith, "Place in this World." I love that song. And though it has that "late 80's, early 90's" feel to it, the song has a great message.

We all have a "place" in this world, a God-ordained and God-given assignment for our lives here on earth.

Tonight's devotion made me really think about this. And I wanted to share it.


"When the priests blew the trumpets, the people shouted. At the sound of the trumpets and the people's shout, the walls fell, and everyone ran straight into the city." --Joshua 6:20 [NCV]


We all have a part in the battle. We all have a place to be and a designated task. Sometimes, the task is the same for everyone--"walk around the city for seven days"--and sometimes we are given different roles in our walk (well, we ARE, not sometimes, given different roles in our walk).

Certainly, our lives here can be described as a "walk" with God. I like here the emphasis on the movement everyone was required to engage in. We are all asked to move, to keep going, in faith--and doing what he's asked us to do, whatever and whenever that may be.

Interestingly, these verses discuss how we all are given specific roles to do while we are walking. Some people are called to be priests and "blow horns" and others are asked to use their mouths to shout. These people knew better than to argue or fuss about their roles. There is an understanding here that EVERYONE KEEPS WALKING, and EVERYONE DOES WHAT GOD ASKS THEM TO DO.

Sometimes, it's hard for us to do that. We live in a society that questions, is curious, wants to SEE where we're going before we step out. But that's not how God works. Always--then and still today--he asks us to step out in faith, in blind obedience, BECAUSE HE SAYS SO.

And we need to realize that there are REASONS for what He requires. We may never know this side of heaven what those reasons are, but we need to TRUST HIM and HIS CHARACTER. God isn't on some insane power trip to control us. He has REASONS. He LOVES US and WANTS THE BEST FOR US. We need to walk, walk, walk with a KNOWLEDGE of this and a ever-growing appreciation of this SENSELESS LOVE He has for us.

But I love the message here, because though people were given different assignments and roles, their obedience allowed GOD to totally move in the supernatural realm and utterly defeat the enemy--the walls fell down. They never touched the walls or launched a direct attack on the walls. They didn't use dynamite. They just did what they were told to do, and somehow, in their obedience, God could command the impossible to happen--supernaturally.

What's amazing to me, and this speaks volumes, is that they ALL got to go into the city. When they did what they were supposed to do, God took over and enabled them ALL to go in and CONQUER their enemies. WOW.

This verse describes our role and responsibility on this earth, during the "battle." We must never shirk our responsibilities, or belly-ache about them, or complain. God has a PURPOSE for our lives. He doesn't give random commands or assignments. He knows what He's doing and what it takes for us to have VICTORY!!!

God, I beg you to show us, to show ME, our "Place in this World"

Responsible

Tonight, I listened to someone nonchalantly present a "sex"/"relationship" message to a college Christian group. It was disturbing to me on several different levels--and I left, enraged.

Maybe I'm wrong. I have been before and might be now. But what I'm feeling is, basically, the following:

What a missed opportunity. Each semester, we get approximately 15 meetings with these students on our campus. They come knowing that it's a Christian group and knowing that they can come there to get away from their busy schedules and crowded minds. They expect, when they come, to hear about Christ.

I don't know that anything said tonight was helpful to anyone spiritually. It felt like a joke. I was mortified--THESE KIDS NEED TO HEAR FROM GOD!!! CAN'T YOU SEE THAT?!?!? THEY DON'T NEED A SEX TALK, A CIRCUS ACT DONE IN THE NAME OF CHRIST!!!

I walked out. I was too upset to stay for the "altar call" or whatever tragic ending that would inevitably ensue. I didn't want anyone to think that I approved of the message--and I didn't want my little girl to hear or repeat anything being said.

How unfortunate.

And then, I think, "Why do I care so much???" Some of the kids were laughing. Others just sat silently text messaging, enduring it.

I think it's because I feel responsible.

I feel, seriously feel, a burden for these students, for their lives, their decisions. And I feel a burden for Christ's message, and it BREAKS MY HEART to MISS AN OPPORTUNITY to talk about HOW WONDERFUL HE IS!!! HE IS SOOOOOOOO WONDERFUL!!!!

"Best Stepmom in the World!"

Being a step-mother has not always been an easy adjustment for me. Not only do you go in fighting against what seems to be a global stereotype of the "Eeeevil Stepmother," but there are also some stark realities that make the job daunting at times.

I married Allie and Raylee's father when I was 35. Although I had dated seriously in the past, I had never been engaged to anyone before their father. I had never had children of my own. I had been single and on my own all of my life. When I moved out of my parents' home to go to college the fall after my senior graduation, I entered a single mode of living that would last 18 years.

And I enjoyed it! I loved being single, and when I look back now, I look back with a smile at all of the good moments, the learning experiences, all the "growth" that happened in me spiritually during those times. I loved being single, and living in that freedom that is single-hood.

And that's not to say there weren't times of profound loneliness. I think any single person would tell you there are times of deep longing for "that person," the one God has destined for you. I think that's just natural. But being single doesn't have to be a bad thing. It wasn't for me.

When I met Stephen, I almost immediately KNEW that I would marry him. It wasn't some "lust and infatuation" thing alone--it was that and a deep spiritual connection that had been lacking in ALL of my prior relationships. There was something about him, his manner, the call God had on his life, everything--and he was sooooooo attractive!!! I remember watching him, on one of our first dates, walk into the convenience store to get me something to drink. I saw him at the counter, paying, and my heart leaped! I was in love.

Stephen has two daughters, Allie and Raylee, and they were 4 and 6 when we first met. They have always been the CUTEST kids. I've said many times that if I were to pick two daughters to adopt out of the world's children, these two would be the ones I'd take home for my own! I give praise to God for that.

It was not easy, though, by any means, for me to marry and have an "Insta Family" as they call them these days. I have done my best, and LITERALLY, have relied on the Holy Spirit, to do what is right for them and by them.

But it's hard sometimes to know what is "right for them": For one thing, I'm not their biological mother. I'm not related to them at all, actually, except through their father. For another, I have little input in their lives. The major details and decisions, including discipline, are hammered out by their parents. It can be really frustrating, especially in the beginning.

In the beginning, my policy was, had to be, to love the girls "at a bit of a distance," knowing that they never wanted or needed me in their lives in the first place.

I remember the way Allie used to look at me--with large, sad, wondering eyes. Always such a darling, she'd never SAY what I could read in her eyes, a deep longing for her parents to get back together, for the world to be made aright. I will never forget those eyes.

I remember reaching out to them, then, on a "needs only basis." I could sense what they were going through, noticed, toward the end of a weekend stay, how they would need to cuddle up to me on the couch, hug on me. They missed their Momma.

It's hard to "let people in" when you know you won't be allowed in for long periods of time. It's hard to love with all your might and then feel like, at the end of a weekend, that it's all taken from you, the faucet has been turned off all together, and the ones you love are whisked away, and they forget...

Or do they?

I think this brought on the "arm's length" phase. I can almost laugh now as I type, seeing the progression, knowing in my spirit that God has orchestrated all of this. "Nearer, Nearer to Thee," I hear rolling over in my spirit as I type now.

The funny thing about keeping kids "at arm's length"? It's just nigh to impossible to keep from throwing them to you and wrapping them in your arms.

One of the things the Holy Spirit kept telling me, keeps telling me, is, "Treat them like they are your own."

So, when I asked Raylee what theme she wanted for her ninth birthday party this year, and she said, "Flowers," I was a bit perplexed. Moving away from the easy-to-buy-for-themes, huh? Now, this is a challenge. So, I weighed the options--what to do.

"Do this party like it was for you," I felt in my spirit.

So I named her party, "Flower Bouquet" and filled our home with bouquets of flowers, all over the house, for her birthday party. On or in each bouquet was a note--each differnt--about Raylee. One said, "What a flowery personality," another, "Nine years of joy" and "Isn't she lovely?"

The night before the party, Raylee walked in with Allie and Psalm and Stephen, after a dinner sans me (I wanted to work on the decor for the party).

Raylee came in, mouth open, in awe of all of the flowers and bouquets. She went around reading aloud what I'd written about her on the bouquets. She looked at me, incredulous, and said, "You did this? For me?"

"All for you!" I said. "Happy Birthday, sweetie."

Her eyes teared up a bit and she exclaimed, "YOU'RE THE BEST STEPMOM IN THE WORLD!!!"