"Love My Church"

It's funny, or ironic. Or just bizarre, really. How God puts something, some concept in your heart and then teaches you, in the most painful way possible, the reality/realities of that concept.

And I can't help but think, in these times, "God, trust me. I could've read this, in some article or something, and gotten the 'moral of the story'--Did I have to learn this lesson first-hand? Is this going to help me somehow, to be stronger?"

Lately, in the past few days, God has really drawn my attention to passages that urge us to "Love one another." "Feed my sheep." "That's how they will know you're my disciples--because you love one another." In a book that I'm reading by Francis Chan, "Forgotten God," he talks about how the whole PURPOSE of the Holy Spirit, giftings and movements in us is to edify the church. In one chapter, he said that he heard God leading him to "Love the church."

This stood out to me then, because I think it's rather hard to love the church sometimes. (Of course it's hard--that's why Jesus said that THAT'S the measure by which they would know us, that they would see Jesus in us--that we could actually love "church people"!!!) People can be rude, mean, even evil. They can pre-judge you, mis-judge you, try to manipulate you, sabotage you. People are not beyond making stories up about you, lying, causing divisions, murmuring and complaining...I see levels of apathy in the church that far outweigh the apathy I find in the classroom--and I've been teaching now for 18 years. It can be frustrating. VERY FRUSTRATING.

I am a positive person who tries to avoid negativity. I try to avoid people who cause division, people who are rude, mean, even evil. Why would I want to be around people like that? Yet there are church people who are like that.

And there are wonderful people, too. Precious people who love the Lord, who love me and others, who forgive us all for our faults and failures, who extend grace and mercy to the deserving and undeserving alike. There are teachers and mentors in the church who have shaped me in irrevocable ways. I have been prayed for by warriors of the faith. I have been spoken over, blessed by countless LOVABLE people in His church, too. And the good people and moments have far outweighed the bad.

When I think back on the tears, pain, hurt, of this evening's events, I could easily get bitter. I could decide to walk away from those who have deeply hurt me. I could build up walls, lose my joy, become bound and eventually allow apathy to abound in my spirit...

But that's when I hear Him say to me, quietly, clearly, "Love My Church"...

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Afterthoughts:

As I was typing this, I felt the Holy Spirit telling me that it wasn't GOD'S IDEA to make me learn the lesson of "love" by enduring a PAINFUL incident. He had led me to those verses, concepts, because he KNEW what was ahead of me. He knew what was coming and what I needed to have embedded in my spirit to combat it. HE didn't DO THIS to me.

Another "coincidence": Before I had even gotten the message finished for church tonight, I had already gotten the title for the next message: "Revolution: Love." I guess THAT'S been completely confirmed, then, huh?