"The Grace to Run Your Race"

"Success tends to generate more hard work, the need for growth, the need to increase our capacity, and the need for greater focus, prioritizing, and management.

I encourage you today to embrace the change necessary in order to grow into the success that God has prepared for you. God calls us to step up and into His promises and purposes, and He will give you the grace to run your race."

--Christine Caine, Facebook 11-21-11

Although a very dear spiritual mentor of mine suggested to me (over two years ago) that I follow the blog ministry of Christine Caine, it was last night--after awaking in a panic at a noise I thought I heard--that I turned on the TV and actually got to hear her.

I grabbed my phone and took the following notes as quickly as I could on the notepad app:

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Strength is for service, not status.
I think it's really interesting how easily we can lose focus when God blesses us with the strength to accomplish whatever is before us to accomplish. I have absolutely no desire to be or become a person of "status." It has been my observation that people must sacrifice much of themselves and their convictions to keep that "publicly coveted status." Too, I have never been impressed with insincerity--even when someone is REALLY GOOD at it. (I suppose on some level, I can marvel at their skill, but I am thankful that I am not proficient in it.)

As I get older, I am realizing how very important strength/energy is. I need it to accomplish anything and everything. I am so thankful, these days, when there seems to be an abundance. But I must remember that the strength God gives me should be used for SERVICE--to my family, others, the church--and ALL for his glory and praise. I pray as I type this that I can grow in this area, that I can appreciate every moment and use it for HIM.

People are caged by fear and doubt. People do not like to change.
Well, people have written books on this subject--undoubtedly, this is the God's truth, as they say. But instead of making general and sweeping generalizations about others, I will just say this: I hope that I am not caged by fear and doubt--whether consciously or subconsciously. And I hope that I can be honest, always, enough to admit that I struggle with these things from time to time.

As for change, I don't know that I fall into that category, though I will say this: For me, the resistance to change happens mostly because of uncertainty for the future...It IS difficult for me to make a change if I cannot see the way ahead--even a bit--and can see that all will be well. Honestly, a total faith walk, a total step of faith, is something I would need to work on. (Though, and God knows this to be true, if I REALLY felt God telling me/commanding me to do something/anything, I would do it. Period. At least I would hope I could say "anything"...Though, thinking about it, the Abraham/Isaac near-sacrifice would be pushing it for me.) And I don't say this flippantly, rather, honestly, and knowing that I really NEED to grow more in faith, in Christ.

Your latter days will be greater than your former days, if you follow His leading.
We've taken to singing a song at church that says this first part exactly. (It omits the "if you follow His leading" part.) I think that's an interesting thing to think about--about our latter days. I think it's vitally important for us, as we age and grow in Christ, to be ever-cognizant of the fact that we do not have an eternity on this earth to make a difference. The older we get, the less time we have. You know, it's not a "fun" or "easy" thing to think about, but if we fail to think about it, won't we be more likely to become lax?

There is no time or place that we "slow down" for Christ. We must live with the expectation of becoming "Super Granny" in Christ.
This statement has really been one that I've been thinking about since I heard her say it. It's so right. Sometimes, I think we get the inclination to think that we've "done our time" and it's time to take a break and let someone else step up and "fill in the gap." Notice the cliches? That's what this is, spiritually speaking. It's just an overused expression of justifying our desire to slow down and spend more "me time" than "God-service" time.

And let's face it: The more I serve God, the more that seems to be required of me. Sure, there are blessings that come from it--for me, my family, the people around me. But, honestly? I'm exhausted mentally and physically. It requires more of me and I'm already engaged thoroughly in the everyday-life requirements. It seems impossible to sustain a long-time service commitment while fulfilling all of my life's obligations to my husband, kids, friends, job, church, etc. I totally "get" why people want to slow down, disengage for a time, "trade off" to someone else. But...and I mean BUT...when I "GAVE MY LIFE TO CHRIST," I gave it to Him. And the longer the serve him, the more I am realizing what that really means. When we give him our lives, it's then not up to us what we do, how we serve: it's up to him. When it's time for me to step down or move or alter my service, HE MUST DO IT. IT MUST COME FROM HIM. BECAUSE IT'S NOT MY LIFE ANYMORE. It's His.

I'm not saying that I totally "get this" yet--I'm just saying that I am realizing it more and more every day. I gave him all of me. ALL OF ME.

Our calling is to help a lost and broken world.
I'm just going to say this: In my estimation, this is the crux of Christianity. This is why we are HERE. If I'm being honest, this is also the very thing that moves me. I have no need of Christian Social Clubs (I'm a bit of a loner by nature, the truth be known); and I have far too many things to do and catch up on just to "play church." I do not believe that Jesus died for one sector of the public, one class, one status. I believe he died for people who are lost and broken or who KNOW what it is like to be. We don't accept Christ until we know that we are wretched, lost and broken without him. We mustn't ever forget that. Sometimes, the longer we are saved and plugged into a church, we tend to get distanced from those he called us to reach out to, to reach, on his behalf. That is our purpose, yet we allow ourselves to get insulated in comfortable rooms devoid of the messiness that comes with allowing too many lost or broken people in. (God forgive me.)

What do you see as your limitation? Many of us have issues with pride. We think that our limits are greater than his "I AM."
Limitations, well, limit us. I don't want to live a life of limitation, but I know that we all struggle against things that we perceive as "limits" to our spiritual success. Yet, the problem with allowing limitations to, well, limit us, is that we are taking the power of God and internalizing it. When we focus on limitations, we are focused on self. ALL OF US have limitations. But when we allow ourselves to remember and BELIEVE that what God's Word says is true: that NOTHING IS IMPOSSIBLE WITH GOD, then our limitations are, in fact, just things in our own heads--not in God's. There are no limits of ours that intimidate him. In fact, based on the Word of God and what I've seen in my lifetime, I think it can be said with certainty that God DELIGHTS in making the impossible possible. That way, people see and KNOW that HE DID IT. Not us. Not our "great minds" or abilities. It's all Him.

So...whatever limitations I see in my path right now (currently, money would be one of the foremost limitations in my life path), I must not dwell on them. Those limitations are what I'm seeing with MY OWN EYES, as opposed (and it IS in direct opposition) to HIS eyes. When we allow our limitations to consume us, disable us, or immobilize us, we have just allowed the enemy of our souls to convince us that GOD is not true to His word. When we are plagued by "realities" in our lives that seem to limit us and God's work in us, we MUST remember that when we gave our lives to Christ, we took on HIS attributes, HIS SPIRIT is within us, we are NEW CREATURES, and we do not have to live by the laws of Social or Spiritual Gravity. PRAISE THE LORD!

We need to have a "butectomy" and take the "but's" out of our thinking.

I laughed out loud when I heard her say this. It is SO TRUE. I think we have a number and wide variety of reasons to rationalize our inactivity, but she covers them all when she says that we must take ALL (not some) of the BUT's out of our thinking.

What is keeping you "stuck in a moment"? (She references the U2 song, "Stuck in a Moment"
This question she poses was the basis for one of the messages I did on a Wednesday night. After I heard her say this, I did a search for the lyrics to the song. Here's what they say:

I'm not afraid
Of anything in this world
There's nothing you can throw at me
That I haven't already heard
I'm just trying to find
A decent melody
A song that I can sing
In my own company

I never thought you were a fool
But darling, look at you. Ooh.
You gotta stand up straight, carry your own weight
'Cause tears are going nowhere baby

You've got to get yourself together
You've got stuck in a moment
And now you can't get out of it
Don't say that later will be better
Now you're stuck in a moment
And you can't get out of it

I will not forsake
The colors that you bring
The nights you filled with fireworks
They left you with nothing
I am still enchanted
By the light you brought to me
I listen through your ears
Through your eyes I can see

You are such a fool
To worry like you do.. Oh
I know it's tough
And you can never get enough
Of what you don't really need now
My, oh my

You've got to get yourself together
You've got stuck in a moment
And you can't get out of it
Oh love, look at you now
You've got yourself stuck in a moment
And you can't get out of it
Oh lord look at you now
You've got yourself stuck in a moment
And you cant get out of it

I was unconscious, half asleep
The water is warm 'til you discover how deep
I wasn't jumping, for me it was a fall
It's a long way down to nothing at all

You've got to get yourself together
You've got stuck in a moment
And you can't get out of it
Don't say that later will be better
Now you're stuck in a moment
And you can't get out of it

And if the night runs over
And if the day won't last
And if your way should falter
Along this stony pass

It's just a moment

I talked about two types of moments: One, the kind of "stuck" that happens in a moment, in a split second, out of nowhere, immobilizing you; and Two, the kind of moment, like from the past, where something happened or something was said to immobilize you. In either case, both types of moments are difficult to forget, difficult to free yourself from on your own. Everyone is susceptible to this. Anyone can get stuck in a moment. But we have to move on. We have to trust God and, if necessary, FORCE ourselves to fight against the "stuck"--and fight for the "unstuck moment."

This time will pass--Life is a vapor. Are you wasting your vapor?
When she talked about this, she took an aerosol can and sprayed some "mist" into the air. And she told us that that is how our lives are described in the Bible. Like a mist. It appears for a short time and then is gone. We all only get that one spray, that one vapor. What are we doing with ours.

I feel deeply about this--there have been too many reminders recently to think otherwise or to ignore them. I really think that our time is short. (And maybe it's just that I feel MY TIME is short.) Either way, no matter how long or short our individual vapor is in comparison to other people's, it's still short, too short, and we really MUST think about what we are doing with ours.

You know, I'm coming to adopt a view on this, as well. I don't think it matters a hill of beans whether anyone remembers my vapor or not, whether anyone takes a snapshot of it and passes it on, whether people talk about it for years or not...What matters, in all of it, and in the end of this life, is whether I did what HE WANTED ME TO DO.

I cannot feel helpless when I think about ALL OF THE WASTED TIME that is on my hands...I am responsible for that!!! Why has it taken me this long to "get" some of this? Was I so obstinate that I refused to listen? Was I so independent and protective of my own power to control my own life that I couldn't hear him speaking? Now, I am left to wonder how much time I have left. And what can I do to hear him now? To do his will? And I just pray that I'm mature enough to HEAR what He is trying to tell me now!!! (I mean, I'm only just now realizing!!! I am nowhere near UNDERSTANDING!!!)

God help me. I don't know how or why he deals with me. Or any of us. He is so patient, so loving, so kind, so generous. To even to allow us to BREATHE after all of our rebellion. :(

We must get free from the cage of the past. The world is waiting for us to get out of our cages.
I feel like this year, 2011, has been a year that God has given me a glimpse of true freedom. I feel deeply in my spirit that that is his will for all of us (and it always has been)--to have TRUE FREEDOM in Christ. He gives us this amazing opportunity to know God--and he paid a HEAVY HEAVY PRICE for us to have access to it--and we continue to look inward, create our own boundaries and rules for followers of Christ, heaping burdens on the backs of people. We make up rules and regulations as we go along, some of which have NO BIBLICAL BASIS. Some of these things happen "in the best interest of others and the community"--but when we regulate God's people, inflicting our own rules on them, we strip them of the very freedom Christ died to give us!!!

How many times are we told in the New Testament that Christ died to give us FREEDOM. TO FREE US FROM THE LAW? I have no idea, but it's MANY MANY times. And yet, for some reason, we think we need to "add" our own little cultural items. (I won't bother to even engage in list-making here.) But while we sit and bicker about what a Christian should look like, and do, and NOT do, there's a lost and broken world out there who is in NEED of JESUS--and we're arguing about hair length, carpet colors, and the Holy Spirit. This CANNOT be God's will for his church. Period.

We DO need to get out of our cages--whatever cages they may be--and ask God to take us somewhere where we can DO the Great Commission and not just sit around and talk, and even argue, about it!

We mustn't be limited or have expectations that line up with the past. This is a new day and God is doing a new thing. "Noah's Greatest Hits" mustn't be the praise of today. It's time to move in, move on.
Sometimes I wonder why God would choose someone like me to speak to his church and work in his church. Especially in this culture. Sure, it's nearly 2012, but there are still many expectations on a church worker like me. I try to be respectful of people's expectations of me: I wear dresses on Sunday mornings (strictly for the church people--it's what's deemed as culturally appropriate--I would not wear dresses every week, otherwise). But, honestly, though I try to be as respectful as possible, I wonder why God would choose to use me. In my mind, people (especially women) in the church need to be and look conservative. I DO try to look as conservatively as possible, and appropriate to the situation, of course. But in my mind, I'm just not the usual. Not anywhere near it. My hair is wild and crazy and it never does the same thing twice. I am often goofy and awkward and I can trip on my own feet, if I'm not careful. I have constant battles with anxiety--including a social anxiety disorder (undiagnosed as of this writing). I am TERRIBLE at introducing myself to strangers, I have anxiety issues just thinking about it! (Not an understatement!) And although I have a sincere and honest intent in what I do and say, I have learned that some people do not perceive it in that way. I do not like politics, meetings, and titles. I have NO STOMACH for pompous people. Especially in the church. And in my short time working in the church, I have met MANY church leaders who, at the very least, come across that way.

And I have caught myself saying lately, WHY ME???

Tonight (I'm updating this blog at nearly 3 a.m. on 12/30/11), I called my Mom and expressed my concern to her about all of this. She said basically what Christine Caine did. "This is a new day. God is doing something different." And I had no recollection that Christine C. had said this when I talked to my Mom. As I work on this blog tonight, I am utterly astounded at the way God works to speak to us.

Christian curses...Christians often limit/curse each other. They want us to "settle down" and "get dignified" when that is the polar opposite of what God has called us to do and be.

Wow. I wonder if people have really thought about the kinds of Spiritual Generational Curses that we pass on.

God forgive us for cursing generations of your people to a limiting experience and knowledge of you. God forgive us for imposing our will, our belief system, our regurgitated cultural biases and BS on innocent souls that are trying to follow you. Forgive us for derailing people in the name of Tradition. Forgive us for discipling people by a set of our own standards, not yours. Forgive us for falling victim to that, any of this, in our lives, in our generation. PLEASE CONTINUE TO RAISE UP PEOPLE LIKE CHRISTINE CAINE AND FRANCIS CHAN AND OTHERS to shake us out of our comfort zones and to burn the "Christian Molds" we've made for people to fit into!!!

HELP US TO TURN OUR EYES AND HEARTS TO YOU!!!!

David danced with abandon. He didn't care what everybody thought.
David was utterly flawed. Yet he had a heart after God. And when it came to God, and to CELEBRATING GOD, he didn't care what other people thought!!! AMEN!!! LET IT BE IN MY OWN LIFE!!!

"I refuse to be slick and cool. I will not. Jesus radically saved me and I will remain radical. I will not sit in the cage of dignity to make people feel better about themselves doing nothing. Jesus Christ is a radical faith in our generation. Nobody who was dignified made a difference for the kingdom of God.
How "Radical" am I, really? Barely? Moderately? Massively?

And how many times have I allowed people to make me believe that I needed to be a "more dignified" Christian, a "calmer" version of myself, somehow?

I know I've bought into that lie. There have been times when I've gotten distressed because I could not "look the way I was supposed to look" or act the way I was supposed to act or believe the way I was supposed to believe. And I've been frustrated, even highly critical of myself, because I can't even FAKE being something other than I am.

One thing I think EVERYONE needs to guard against is comparing ourselves to others. We may be RELATIVELY Radical for Jesus or RELATIVELY Un-dignified, compared to other people around us...But how does GOD see us? He doesn't compare us to others--and thank God that has never been his "measuring stick"--He looks at our heart, compares us to His Word and what we know of it at any given moment in time. How would I measure up then? When I am compared to my knowledge, potential, capability? Would I be "weighed in the balance and be found wanting"?

I'm sure the answer right now is a resounding YES. But I hope to work on that--immediately.

It pleases God to make us strong.
I believe this. I believe that it pleases God to make us strong so He can show Himself through us. He can get glory when He makes me strong, because EVERYONE knows I am not strong on my own.

We need a radical fire. I know what it was to be lost and then found.

I know what it was like to be lost. More importantly, perhaps, I know what it's like to feel like God is a great distance away--and because of my own doings.

God prepped me locally, nationally, internationally/globally.
We all have to start somewhere. We have to trust God and do our best where he puts us. Then, we need to study to shew ourselves approved, learn everything we can where he has us...because where He's taking us will require us to use the things we've learned from prior experiences. God's plan is to GROW US. It is not his idea for us to climb five or six steps and say we have "arrived"...No. It is an ever-evolving process that happens within us, and it will keep us busy for a lifetime. But His plan is not for us to remain at one step forever, but to grow us and "promote us" to larger platforms to spread the Good News as we go.

For her, she said she NEEDED to start smaller, grow, branch out, and then, eventually, share the GOOD NEWS with the world! That's his plan for us all!!!

God uses ordinary people to do extraordinary things.

Praise the Lord for that! That means there is hope for me!!!

We must take risks and have faith.

Why do we avoid taking risks? Leaving our comfort zones, even momentarily? Maybe that should be our challenge. After identifying a box we are "comfortable" with or in, we should leave it periodically to explore life outside of the box...A life FREEEEE of constraint, limitation, low expectations. Because that's where he wants us anyway: OUT OF THE BOX.

The potency has left the church because we do not live by faith and take risks. God does not ask us to do normal things.
This reminds me of the old song, "Living by Faith": "Living by Faith/ In Jesus above/ Trusting, confiding/ In His great love/ From all harm safe/ In his sheltering arms/ I'm living by faith/ And feel no alarm."

We need to realize the power of the Word.
Definitely. And as my dear friend reminds me often: we need to remember the authority that we have in Christ. And how can we know that if we do not spend time in His Word?

"Because I am taking risks and stepping out in faith [with her human trafficking ministry], we are living Bible stuff."
The stories in the Bible aren't fictional. They are stories about what happened to REAL people who did their best to follow God. Today, nothing has changed. If and when we can give God something to work with, He will...and we will tell stories not unlike those found in the precious Word of God.

Continue to lift up the name of Jesus. Keep walking around the walls.
Praise Him!!! If we could just understand how vitally important praise is in our daily walk with him!!! He is WORTHY of any/all praise we can give him! Amen!!!

"Are you alive? Did you wake up with a chalk line around you? Then it's not over. God has a plan and destiny for your life."
As long as I'm breathing, God can find a way to use me. I take comfort in that fact: As long as I live, He can use me.

Dare to get out of the cage. [She compares Christians to caged animals at the zoo, as opposed to free ones roaming the plains of Africa.]

Am I a "caged Christian"? Or am I free?

"It's not about what I've got, but what God can do with what I've got."
Amen! I'm so thankful that God doesn't base things on me--my limited experiences, giftings, offering. I'm so thankful that he can see something within me that will serve Him and use it and make something out of nothing.

Q: What am I going to get pregnant and give birth to?
I told someone today that I just wished God could give me a more specific FOCUS on what I need to be doing. It feels like right now I'm doing a LOT, many different things, many obligations...but what I'd like to know is what I "should be doing" or "really need to be doing"...Not because someone asked me to or felt like I could do a good job, but because the ALMIGHTY GOD directed me to do something. THAT'S what I want to be doing. Anything else--and even noble things--are just a simple waste of my time and energies.

And as I get older, I am realizing more and more that I only have so much time and energy to give...

The same spirit that raised Jesus from the dead raised you and me.
We are not "victims" on this earth, not with the blood of Jesus covering us. If we could just get an understanding of this, it could revolutionize everything we are and do on this planet. We have the same spirit working in us that RAISED JESUS FROM THE DEAD...Do we REALIZE how powerful that is? Do we understand how that would irrevocably make us OVER-COMERS and VICTORS in this life?


Be strong in the Lord and the power of his might and do what He's called you to do with all of your might in your one and only life.
Recently, I have been really thinking about how short life is, how little time I really have to live on this planet--and the time is ticking by, each moment. When I think about these things--though some may charge morbidity--it makes me think about whether or not I am truly living my life to the best of my ability. How much of my life is being wasted away? How much of my precious time have a squandered already? What can I do to slow things down, gain additional perspective so I can embrace every moment, so help me God?

I get one life and once chance to live it. This is a one-shot deal with no do-overs. And, what scares me if I think about it, is how I will be held accountable for my time. What will God say to me? Will he be proud of me? Or shake his head at my missed opportunities? I cringe thinking about it, and could easily bury my head in the sand and keep my already cluttered mind busy with other topics to avoid thinking about all of my mistakes, but I know that the BEST thing I can do, the most PROACTIVE thing I can do is just START OVER. I can't do one thing about what has transpired, but I can do something about today--what's left of it--and the choices I make in the future.

I want to make my future count. For Him.