When I close my eyes--at night--

When I close my eyes--at night--
I say a prayer for the day/s I have known:
Thank you, Lord, for the life I have had,
For my daughter and my husband,
For every blessing I have been given,
To date.

But I know, just as I close my eyes,
The next day may be the day when
Everything as I have known it changes.
I am not guaranteed a life that looks
Like the one I'm living today,
To date.

For months now, not a night goes by
That I don't wake up once, twice--
Wide awake and half alert--
Spirit uneasy, so I begin my search:
I grab my phone and go to headlines,
To date.

What I'm looking for, I'll never tell--
Is there indication of war? Terrorism?
Attacks on faith? Fear arising?
I search the left, the right, the international,
Night after night, checking for leads,
To date.

Thus far, I feel only the tremors
Of impending change, of what is to come.
I've not seen the headline confirming it
(To my relief and to my chagrin).
I'm not quite sure what it is I need to pray for,
To date.

Yet, as sure as I'm breathing (now),
And as sure as I'm sitting here typing this,
I know that I know that one night,
When I close my eyes--at night--all will change
Forever: and all I will have are these musings,
To date.